When people work with me to design their family, they get these kinds of results:

• Confidence about where the family is headed.
• Agreement about parenting issues.
• Peace in the family.
• Confidence about handling conflicts that do come up.
• Relief that the children feel more connected and secure (and their behavior shows it).

What this means to you:

Confidence about where the family is headed.

When my clients learn what to expect, they are not so easily knocked off balance.  They interpret things differently.   They don’t worry as much.  Learning the right questions to ask in each stage points them to the answers and solutions they need to bring their family together in a way that honors and supports each family member.

Agreement about parenting issues.

Each person may have their own style and philosophy, but it is important to reach some agreements about house rules, consequences, and working as a team.  Being clear about how to handle parenting and adult supervision issues eases tension in the family, and helps foster relationships between “steps” that work well.

Peace in the family.

Being clear about the stepparent’s role, having realistic expectations, and respecting the unique perspective of each person set the stage for a peaceful family.  Keeping a sense of humor helps, too!  I help my clients be clear about roles and rules, and keep things in perspective.

Confidence about handling the conflicts that do come up.

My clients learn the important role that conflict plays in building strong relationships.  Understanding the larger purpose of conflict gives people more courage to deal with things that come up.  They develop new skills for working through disagreements, misunderstandings, and argumenets.  They aren’t as timid about tackling touchy issues.  In fact, they go into a disagreement or dispute with the goal of finding the best solution for everyone – and they are often amazed at how things turn out.

Children feel more connected and secure in the family (and the grown-ups feel relieved!)

Clients often report that their children start behaving better and opening up more to the stepparent and step-brothers and sisters.